Words Can't Quite Say
by Nine Sixteenths
Summary: A reunion with an unforgettable travel companion forces Ash to face an emotion he had never felt before.
1. Unexpected Reunion

**Spring Regionals, The 11th. [Present Year]**

He sat uncomfortably on a concrete ledge, too small for his body to relax against, but large enough for him to cling onto without too much effort. It wasn't the ideal spot to sit himself on - nor did it offer anything beyond its awkwardness. But it was a spot to sit in; the only one left he was willing to take.

The outer lobby of the colosseum was filled to the brim with traffic. Passing audience, competitors, nurses, secondary judges, and even peddlers bustled through the 'open' area with their own agendas. Standard and ready-made seats were all taken by tired patrons. Food benches were occupied by hungry customers. And clear zones for standing were near non-existent within a flood of passing footsteps. There was only room to walk, only room to push through the crowds.

It was the Spring Regionals, a time of renewed trials and newly-formed journeys. For those who would begin their adventures, this was the time to scope out their upcoming challenges and competitions. For those who have travelled far and wide, this was the time to remember why they began their journeys in the first place. For those who have earned their reputations in battle, this was their time to prove themselves once again worthy of the Championships. And this was the perfect place to do so.

The Golden Silver Cup held in Johto was a world-famous competition. Only 2nd-place winners and Championship runner-ups would be allowed to enter its halls as competitors. All those officially entered would gain the opportunity to compete for the Golden Silver Badge - a badge that would bestow its holder competition-rights in the Championships, without having the perfect victory ratio initially required.

Locals, in humor, would refer to the Golden Silver Cup as the "Loser Cup", as only those who fell just short of their goals entered its battle brackets. In seriousness, however, the Golden Silver Cup was known as the most anticipated tournament in the Johto Spring Regionals. Having already tasted the bitter flavor of near-victory, its entrants were the best the Battle League had to offer in disciplined and desperate Trainers. Disciplined to know what they had done wrong and why. Desperate to right their wrongs, and to never wrong again. A tournament holding nothing less in such determinations would mean an endless spectacle of epic battles, fueled and fed by pure, limitless will. In that, the Golden Silver Cup never disappointed. Both competitors and audiences alike would leave its halls with satisfaction in their excitement-tingled blood. And the peddlers would leave its grounds with full pockets. By the end of the well-known "Loser Cup", all came out as victors.

_Victory._ A strange concept to his mind. There had been many times when he was called a victor despite having never won in the challenge he was given. There had been many times when he was given the blessing of victory after having won through only a gamble. There have been countless times when he was victorious over those who he had already lost to. Victory was always given to him, after many battles, and after many non-battles, yet victory was the furthest concept from his grasp. He wondered what victory truly meant, if he never gained what he wanted most in its conclusion.

What he wanted from its end, he wasn't fully sure. But he knew there would be no true satisfaction until he could attain it for himself.

He thought such things, as he shifted himself again in his uncomfortable 'seat'.

It wasn't ideal, but the seat would do. It was a place to sit in, the only one he was willing to sit in. There was another seat. Around the corner and down a few steps of the way. He saw it clearly. It was a perfect seat. How it could have been open, he wasn't sure. And how it could have been left open for anyone but himself, the only one to have noticed it, he wasn't sure. Why he did not take the fated resting area for himself - was the only thing in his mind that he was sure of.

Beside his miracle seating, sat a girl, a young woman. One that he knew. Knew very well. Though from a family of blue eyes and blue hairs, there was no possibility of mistaking her for her relatives. She dressed a certain way, held herself in a certain way, and spoke in a certain way. A certain way that he would have never known if he hadn't become directly involved with it - for years - more years than he could correctly count.

Her name was Dawn. And fitting to her name, her personality was one that would blossom out of the darkness, filled with hope and readiness of what was to come. It was an unmistakeable trait that he knew her for.

He couldn't face her now. If her eyes had locked with his, that feeling in his chest would burn once again. It had been years since he last saw her, and though she had grown and changed in that time, the feeling inside his chest when he caught glimpse of her had never changed. The feeling sparked when he recognized her, the feeling flared when he passed by her, and the feeling dimmed when her down-set eyes lost its chance to recognize him.

That perfect seat meant only for him, was placed mockingly beside her. He refused the bait in awkwardness, and took his consolation prize of an awkward 'seat'.

It wasn't ideal, but it wasn't next to her. For that, Ash was thankful for.

* * *

**Winter Regionals, The 08th. [5 Years Pre-Present]**

"Cold." Ash breathed out his first word since his arrival.

Iris peeked her head out of the thick blanket layers and shot a glare at the shivering young man in front of her. "Th-That's what I've b-been saying!" she stuttered loudly, shivering herself, "Why d-di-di-did you choose this place to meet up?"

"Because it was nearby. If I went somewhere else, I'd be sidetracked completely." Ash defended himself. He reached over and grabbed one of the blankets Iris hid under.

"N-No! I-I'm freezing enough as it is!" Iris fought back with a scarf-wrapped limb, grabbing the blanket and pulling it back into her possession. "Get your own!"

"I didn't bring any! The heater was working in here before!" He pulled the blanket back into his possession.

"Then let's go s-somewhere else!" She pinched it between two limbs and yanked in return.

"I already reserved the seats here! And none of the other restaurants had enough seats for everyone!"

"Then pick another city! W-We'll just re-reschedule!"

"No way! It took me forever to - AH!"

In their tug-of-war struggle over the contested blanket, the two failed to notice their shifting positions threatening their center of balance. With a loud thud, Ash and Iris tumbled onto the marbled-tiled floor, kicking and sliding their chairs away in the process.

"YEE!" Iris yelped in reaction to the bitingly-cold floor touching her legs. Her limbs pinched the edges of her blankets and rolled their layers around her exposed area. Cocooned back in her bastion of warmth, she gave a relieved sigh.

"It's nice in here." Ash sighed with her.

"Wh-What are you doing in here?! Get out of my blankets!"

"It's cold out there!"

"That's your fault! Not mine!"

The two struggled again, pushing instead of pulling, for space in the blankets rather than the ownership over a single one. Sitting closest to them, a man shook his head and poked at the rumbling fabrics. "Guys, don't fight in the restaurant. It's rude. Not to mention immature."

Ash popped his head out. He gave a mischievous grin. "I'm not fighting. I'm just getting reacquainted with Iris. And her blankets. By the way, nice to see you again, Cilan."

"Nice to see you too. You too, Iris. It's been a while."

"Close it! Close it! You're letting the cold back in!" Iris's bared hand, free from its scarf gauntlet, shot out of the opening Ash's head poked out of and slid the blanket over his face. "Nice to see you too." she responded to Cilan's greeting without showing her face, "How's your gym doing? Your brothers?"

"Our gym's doing great, actually! Chili, Cress, and I cooked up some interesting new challenges for the next coming seasons! There's this one tantalizingly flavorful idea -"

The Pokémon Connoisseur began his excited discussion of the revitalized Striaton City Gym, a Gym he shared ownership with his brothers. Ash took that as his cue to leave. He pulled away two layers of fabric and made an opening. Before he could crawl out, a scarf was wrapped around his neck. The scarf belonged to Iris.

He was kicked out of the blanket fort and its gates were shut behind him. Though the scarf given to him was warm enough to keep him from complaining. Ash smiled, nudging the blanket fort in thanks.

With a casual air, he pushed himself to his feet and returned the moved chairs back to their original placements. A pair of hands appeared beside him, scooting away his hold as it carried the chair that had belonged to him. His chair was set behind him, inviting him to sit down. He did so with a 'thank you'.

"You're welcome." the helper said. "It's been a while, huh?"

Misty stepped to the side of him, greeting him with her presence. She stood awkwardly, unsure whether to hug or wave at him as a physical greeting. Her hand reached down, settling with a handshake.

His hand shook hers. "Yeah!" was his simple, ecstatic response. "How was your trip here?"

"A luxury, actually. Gary insisted I ride on his private jet. The food on the flight was superb. You need to try it sometime."

"Whoah, really? Is Gary here?"

"No, Research-Head got his Head stuck in Research again. He told me to give you his regards and apologies. And that 'he'd be there for the next one'."

"He never shows up for any of them. Then again, neither do you. This is only the second one you've popped into, right?"

"Yeah, the other one I went to was the tiny one back in Kanto. I really can't leave that region these days. I've been busy with my sisters back at the Gym. We're doing a major overhaul over there. Cerulean City won't be the same when you come back to visit. If you ever do visit, that is."

"Sorry. I've been busy too." Ash apologized with a laugh.

"Not busy enough to miss out on setting up these little reunions, though."

"If I had time to visit everyone when they say I should, I wouldn't have made these reunions in the first place."

"I guess you have a point. So any old faces in particular showing up for this reunion?"

Ash and Misty conversed with eager curiosity. It had been the first time they had spoken to one another since their last meeting two years ago, in a previous Roads Travelled Reunion, held in Viridian City.

The 'Roads Travelled Reunion', or 'RTR' for short, which Ash had named and claimed, was an annual event he held for all the friends and acquaintances he had met throughout his journeys. Many former travel and battle partners would demand Ash to visit them in their new homes or jobs, but his working goal to become a "Pokémon Master" would never lend him the time or convenience to do so. To finally end the constant pokes and prods sent his way, he created the RTR - a reunion for everyone he had met to meet and greet one another, to catch up, and tell tales of what they had been up to since their last meeting. It also inadvertently gave them a venue to advertise themselves to new faces. And with Ash continuing his journeys without a clear end in sight, the number of 'new faces' would grow and grow with each annual reunion.

What had once been a small event meant to satisfy "I miss you"s, had gradually become a private convention where social, business, and even romantic connections were made and thrived within.

This year's event, attended by many old faces, new faces, and a few rare returns, was no different than any other. The beginning hour had started in awkward silence, which burst into a loud commotion after Ash initiated his first greeting, then was followed by everyone's personal receptions, which would soon be organized with games and competitions. Just like the year prior, and the year prior to that, and so on. It was a joyous holiday that everyone looked forward to, as it not only gave them the chance to see Ash again, but it also gave them the special chance to see everyone else again.

Even with their relationship holding more depth and meaning than most others in the restaurant, Misty and Ash found themselves impatient to individually meet with the others, rather than spend a majority of their time speaking exclusively to one another. Misty dearly wished to talk to Angie and see how her Day Care business was holding up. Ash was determined to introduce his new travel partners Serena, Clemont, and Bonnie to Professor Oak. Without voicing these desires to one another, the two cut their dialogue decidedly short, promising each other that they'd continue their talks later in the party. And with a wave, they went their separate ways across the restaurant.

They would not see each other again until a video call a week later.

Inviting his three friends to follow him, Ash led a small expedition to the other side of the restaurant.

He passed by a table filled with men and women dressed in red jacketed uniforms. The Pokémon Rangers Solana, Jack Walker, and Kellyn talked amongst one another, along with a few unfamiliar Rangers that had been invited to the Reunion as guests. Jack gave him a curt nod and smile. Ash returned the short greeting.

He would never find time to converse with the Rangers tonight.

At the end of one table to his right, the Gym Leader Maylene and Arena Tycoon Greta were challenging one another in a exhausting push-up contest. Greta lost immediately when she attempted to wave 'hi' towards Ash. He apologized with a laugh and waved back.

Later in the day, he would be dragged into a wrestling competition by the both of them.

A group of Nurse Joys who had found a rare time to be away from their jobs occupied a selection of tables that Ash passed between. He couldn't tell them apart, excepting one who was obviously darker in skin tone and wore an athletic uniform, but he greeted them all the same with a smile. Brock was amongst them, praising each of them sequentially for their beauty and personality, though he was kindly rejected with each try. Busied in his flirts, he never noticed his old travel companion call for him. Ash only shrugged his shoulders in understanding.

In a few hours, Brock would finally notice him, and by then most of the Nurse Joys would have already left the party early.

Behind him, Clemont and Bonnie were thrown off focus by a blast of electricity. Lt. Surge's Raichu was showing off the voltage levels of its Thunder. The two stalled to watch the show.

The distraction would keep them lost to Ash until the party's end. And Lt. Surge's careless release of his pokémon would be the cause of the party's end. Pokémon were prohibited from the restaurant's grounds without a license.

Serena had noticed the siblings' absence, but found no reason to warn Ash of it immediately. She, instead, took her lone opportunity to walk beside him, closely. The intrusion of his personal space neither surprised nor bothered Ash. _Or he's pretending not to care,_ she curiously thought.

He hadn't noticed it at all. All around him, old friends and rivals shot "hey"s, waves, and comments his way. Many of whom he would have too little time to talk to in the day. He responded to each with individual answers, declining their on-the-spot invitiations until he could finish what he set out to do originally. Only his destination, the table located at the rear corner of the restaurant, seated with men and women in off-white labcoats, and a single woman dressed in bright, casual clothing, could come first in his personal attention.

"Mom!" he shouted in call. A few teasing remarks were thrown at him from nearby seats. He ignored them. "Mom! I'm over here!" he called again.

"Ashy-deary!" Delia Ketchum shouted back gleefully as she stood from the table she shared with the Professors. Her hands clapped together loudly. "Oh my! My little Ashy has a girlfriend now?"

Several spit-takes were heard around the restaurant.

Ash turned to his left and found a pink-faced Serena latched quietly to his arm. The surprised look on his face forced Serena to let go instantly, her face burning an even brighter pink. A howl of encouragement, followed by some laughs, echoed around them. Once again, Ash ignored it. "N-No, mom! She's just my new travel friend! Her name's Serena!"

'Another female travel companion for Ash' was introduced to the party, an expected development for many - as the boy from Pallet always seemed to have one girl join him in his travels. 'Another girlfriend appeared' some mentioned, referring to the fact that each girl that travelled with him had, at one point or another, fallen for him. 'Another girl to be disappointed' others whispered, mocking the fact that, in the end, Ash never seemed to have any interest in anything beyond pokémon or pokémon battling.

All jokes about the 'girlfriends' were kept in hushed tones. If either Misty or Iris, the only 'ex-girlfriends' to be found in this year's RTR, heard the jokes, the joke-teller would leave the party with a black eye and a bruised lip.

Topics over the 'girlfriends' were popular. The histories they gained with Ash, the stories of their own adventures, and the merits they earned with their pokémon were always interesting to learn or be reminded of for the listening audiences. Serena, 'the childhood love', as many now referred to her in quiet as, was given special attention in the topics due to her revealed history with Ash. To many people's surprise, she had met him long before most others had. Stories were told, bets if 'she will be the one to make Ash turn' were made, fun was had. With her introduction, the partygoers of the RTR had welcomed Serena with open arms.

For Ash, it was 'mission accomplished'.

Though he quickly wondered after where Clemont and Bonnie had disappeared to.

He eyed the room in searching curiosity. Hands were waved to get his attention, but none of them belonged to the Lumiose City Gym Leader or his sister. From one end of the connected rooms to the next, he scanned the tables from different angles, eager to find them and introduce them too to his mom and Professor Oak. His search came to a sudden halt when his eyes stopped at the sight of a family of blue eyes and blue hairs.

Only one person in his immediate memories owned that combination of natural colors. And that one person had never attended any of the Roads Travelled Reunions.

"Dawn?" he voiced his thoughts openly.

"Hm?" he didn't expect an answer, yet there it was, "Ash?" Turning away from the table, a table that was far closer to where he stood than he realized, a particular girl of long blue hair and brightly-lit blue eyes shifted in her seat to face him. The girl's curious gaze turned into beaming surprise. "Ash!"

Dawn lept from her chair and hugged the boy from Pallet Town. Her family whistled in teasing. She shushed them, then introduced them as her cousins, and of course, her mother.

Visually, to Ash, her family looked nearly identical to one another - aside from the length of their hairs and what clothes they wore. It was difficult for him to tell them apart. Except for Dawn. There was 'something' about Dawn that made her stand out obviously amongst them. He assumed that 'something' was his familiarity with her that he gained in their travels. Whatever that 'something' was, it made Dawn the center of his attention.

Ash grinned widely in their reunion. Like Misty, he hadn't spoken to Dawn in years, though the amount of years compared was drastically different. He hadn't spoken to Misty in two years. For Dawn, it was four. And where Misty remained relatively the same over the years, making it seem as if not a day had passed since their last meeting, Dawn had changed significantly, to the point of non-recognition. It was only her 'something' that let him know that it was undoubtedly her. "You... You look so different!" he attempted to compliment, though the try came out awkwardly.

"Thank you." she knowingly took the words as the compliment it was meant to be, "A lot of things happened since we last talked. A lot of... interesting things, you could say. Though I'm sure they're not as interesting as what's happened to you. You look very 'different' too. Not in a bad way at all."

The two cheerfully conversed at her family's table. There was a lot to catch up on. There was a lot to catch up on with everybody, but for Ash and Dawn, their interests focused solely on each other. His mission to find the siblings would be left unaccomplished, as he himself had become distracted as well.

Ash had missed Dawn. He had missed everyone that was in the restaurant that day, but Dawn had a special place in his longing memories. Of all his female travelling companions he had made in his journeys, Dawn stayed as his companion the longest. Though he hated to compare, this fact made Dawn more memorable to him than May, Misty, or Iris - as irreplaceable in his memories as Brock was and is. It was a comparison not made by personality or behavior, but simply by time. The time he had spent with her was filled with quality, but made permanent with its quantity. When he thought back to previous adventures or times of rest, images with Dawn would be the first to appear in his mind.

Like a limb suddenly removed, he often wondered where she was in his groggy morning thoughts. Even the time quality spent with Iris and Serena couldn't yet remove that instinct. He wondered if 'that' was that 'something' that Dawn owned.

That 'something' made her the center of his attention. And it made her unforgettable.

For the rest of the day and night, the two would spend every event in each other's company.


	2. Passing Moment

**Spring Regionals, The 13th. [Present Year]**

The competition had been grueling. Battle after battle, clash after clash, stalemate after stalemate, and tie-breaker after tie-breaker, the struggling Trainers and their pokémon were forced to endure and excel within each. No end in sight seemed fathomable for the fighters, as the number of competitors this year far exceeded the last. An impressive amount of new official Gyms, Tourneys, and Challenges had been made in prior years - and now the culmination of their work bore fruit at this year's Spring, in the number of "Almost Champions" that were entered into the Golden Silver Cup.

Numbers alone didn't account for the attritional difficulty, however. Each "Almost Champion" competing had shown that they were worth their entry. No one gave way to their opponents easily. No defeat was made obvious. And no true winner could be foolishly guessed. Everyone had an equal chance at attaining the Golden Silver Badge. Which only proved that no one had a fair chance at gaining their hoped for victory.

Ash felt that now. He had thought that his initial sense of how the tournament would go was realistic, but the level of challenge his opponents gave him with every battle only made him rethink his childish judgments. If he didn't believe he had a good chance at victory here, he knew that by the end he'd find that he had no chance at all. He was sure his opponent felt the same.

The foe across the field called back his pokémon, a fainted Tyranitar, and fell to his knees. He was defeated. And the look on his face only showed that there was no surprise at his loss. Cheers swiftly boomed across the crowds as the hard-fought loss for the exhausted Trainer meant a hard-earned victory for the "Pallet Town Legend".

It was a title given to Ash by the voice on the loudspeaker. He didn't recognize the voice, but it seemed to have recognized him at his entrance. And the audience had recognized him as well. Ash didn't know he still had fans this many years into the competition - nor did he know that he had fans in the first place. He wondered if it was just some friends trying to cheer him on from an anonymous distance. Whichever it was, he was now a crowd favorite.

The favoritism didn't add or retract anything from what he felt now. Exhaustion. He barely won that fight, he shouldn't have won that fight, he didn't deserve to. But then, neither would his foe, if he had won instead. The battle was grueling. The victory was grueling. And the walk out of the arena, down its long, empty hall, was grueling.

His tiredness and senses of guilt vanished in an instant. The strange feeling inside his chest suddenly spiked. In less than a second of physical awareness, Ash realized that he was walking past Dawn. And at that moment, he was sure she had realized the vice versa. Their eyes had locked for a brief event that lasted forever in memory, but immemorable by time. Like the second hand of a clock twitching to its next destination, the moment was gone in an instant, and the two passed each other entirely. Without a word.

They were walking in separate directions, which only meant that Dawn was the next to battle in the arena. At any point, he realized, he could turn around and wish her luck. At any point, he realized, she could have turned around and asked how his battle had went. But at all points, neither occurred. Dawn entered the arena with a crowd cheering her also-famous name. And Ash vanished into the competitors' Pokémon Center, with no one to call after him.

He could have spoken to her. Even given her a second look. But he hadn't.

The feeling inside his chest was too much to bear. He couldn't look at her as long as he felt that way. 'That way' kept him at a stalemate; never allowing him to speak with her, despite its every desire to make him do so.

_At what point,_ he wondered, _did everything change?_ Though he could identify the obvious, physical event that had caused his present feelings to become so permanent, he wondered if it had started before even that. Or if it was a culmination of several things that added up to the uncomfortable state of affairs. Was Dawn's 'something' to blame? Or just his recognition of it?

The only thing he could do in response now was take care of his pokémon. He didn't need to do anything else. Tomorrow, if Dawn won her current match, he would face her in the semi-finals.

* * *

**Winter Regionals, The 09th. [5 Years Pre-Present]**

Wincing his eyes under the harshly bright sunbeam, Ash awoke to a new day. He looked around the room in curiosity, glancing groggily at the blinding window that greeted his morning senses. To his right, Serena remained asleep. Even in her pajamas, she looked fashionable as ever. And though she had given him many sour faces the night before, she slept now with a calming smile. On his lap, he found the light-snoring Pikachu. His best Pokémon friend had been unable to join him in the restaurant for the party, but was able to participate in the outdoor competitions that followed shortly after. The intense activities had tired out the Electric Type entirely. To his left, on a fold-out bed, slept the siblings Clemont and Bonnie. During, and even shortly after the event, Ash couldn't find the Lumiose City siblings anywhere. It was only when he returned to their room in the Pokémon Center, did he find the two of them already soundly asleep. Whatever they had done must have exhausted them.

He looked around the room one more time, wondering where Dawn was.

A pair of cold hands placed themselves on his shoulders, and massaged them lightly.

"Your back still hurt?" a voice behind him asked.

"No. It's a lot better now." he responded cheerily.

"That's good."

"W-Wait, don't stop. That felt good."

"Well aren't you selfish this morning."

"I don't remember when's the last time I got a massage." Ash admitted with a hint of selfish joy. Tilting his head back, he stared into his caretaker's eyes. "_There you are._"

Dawn blinked. "Hm?"

"Nothing. I just missed you."

"You keep saying that and you'll make me blush." she giggled happily and continued her massage.

Ash sighed in satisfaction. Staring into Dawn's blue hair and blue eyes every morning had become a private habit of his. Things seemed brighter and more clear after he caught a glimpse of them. He wasn't entirely sure why he felt that way or why he made a habit out of it, but he let it settle in his mind as a positive product of the Coordinator's finicky hygiene rituals. Something he took for granted in the past, but appreciated fully now.

Dawn was ready for the day. Dressed thickly in finely fashioned coats, layered pants, an accentuating scarf, wool-rimmed boots, and her signature beanie, the cold snow of the outside would find it hard to both freeze her and make her look bad. Her only weakness was the lack of mittens and muffs, which she kept removed for as long as she was giving Ash her full attention. The Coordinator was as trendy and as considerate as she always had been, but now, four years later in maturing, her appearance and demeanor had caught up with her expectations in herself.

No longer was she the young girl whose behaviors and attitudes towards life still showed signs of immaturity. All such growing flaws and been ironed out to become an 'ideal woman'. _The kind that Misty would have worshipped as a kid,_ Ash thought. He sighed again, finding himself more than satisfied with being in the presence of the grown Dawn. The 'something' about her had become realized, more welcoming, more worthy of attention, and far more unforgettable. And he was glad to see it by his side. No morning would be complete without it.

Dawn gave a shy smile at his second sigh. "If you're trying to flirt with me, then you're a few years too late, Ash. I don't have time for a boyfriend. Especially one that travels around the world like you."

Ash tilted his head. "Flirt?"

The Coordinator giggled. Despite the years that had passed, the boy from Pallet Town was still a boy at heart. No ulterior motives or questionable ideas rolled around in his mind, _unless they led to a Pokémon Battle,_ she considered. She was just as glad to be in his company once again.

A knock on the door quieted all cheerful thoughts.

Serena, Bonnie, Clemont, and Pikachu rolled and groaned in their sleep. If any of them woke, then the private moment he held with Dawn would disappear. Ash quietly signaled for Dawn to answer the door. She did so with a polite nod.

As the door opened, a loud wailing broke into the room.

Red-eyed and shaking, Tracey stumbled through the doorway, lightly pushing Dawn aside and latching onto Ash's shoulders in despair.

No would could stay asleep. The moment had disappeared.


	3. Tomorrow I'll Tell Her

**Spring Regionals, The 13th. [Present Year]**

Ash stared at the two names highlighted on the computer screen. Clicking on the links saved on the side of his typed notes, he opened four streamed videos into separating windows. He dragged and placed them side by side for comparison. They were the only videos found in the BattleNet's website for the two highlighted names. The twelve other battles the two were involved in weren't officially recorded into official videos, which left a large sum of details about them unknown.

Of these two names, one would belong to the finalist that Ash would eventually face. From their records and videos alone, it was obvious that he was outclassed. Either of them being claimed as the Champion of the Johto region would not have surprised him. What was surprising was that the both of them were only runner-ups in previous deciding tournaments. _Being a Champion must be a class of its own,_ he feared.

In direct comparison, he was an absolute underdog. An underdog who wasn't even sure if he could win tomorrow's match - the match that would decide whether or not he could face one of the two names highlighted. He was an underdog who wasn't even sure who he was battling tomorrow.

The match that continued late into this hour of the night, belonged to Dawn and Kenny - Dawn's childhood friend. Such a coincidental battle would have been considered 'favored by Fate'. Two Coordinators from the same foreign region, sharing the same intimate history, mysteriously running into one another in the same tournament without knowing each other's personal decision of entering... In many people's eyes, the battle wasn't just 'favored by Fate', it was _made by Fate_. And its prolonged length, having lasted for at least two hours since its beginning, only solidified that humored consideration into a hopeful fact.

The very idea of it, however, sickened Ash.

He moved the video's clips around, trying to sync portions of the battles together for better comparisons. He did this to ignore the thought of those two battling. To ignore the churning feelings in his stomach and inside his chest. He studied his possible final opponents, ignoring the actual possible opponents he was supposed to face next, so he could ignore their existence for just a little longer.

Pikachu tiredly crawled onto his back and watched the videos alongside him. His company made Ash feel more at ease, and made him sourly realize how immature he was for watching the videos, and for studying his opponents so diligently. Ash was never the type to place all his worries on a studied strategy. Nor the type to watch videos of other battlers outside of casual enjoyment. He followed the instincts of battle more than anything else, and cared little to spend time figuring out what he couldn't understand. That was what kept him an underdog in people's eyes, what kept any real sense of victory just out of his reach, and what made him outclassed to everyone else in the tournament. But if he didn't battle in the way he did, caring as much and as little as he always had, then the answer found at the end of all his struggles would not be of any worth, nor would any of its meanings be clear.

With a silent nod to himself, he closed the hotel room's computer and jumped back onto the bed. Pikachu hopped onto his stomach in reply, staring into his eyes in interest.

Ash reached out and petted the Mouse Pokémon.

"_I may not battle entirely with strategy, but I learn from my losses. And I'm not stubborn without a good reason. Right?_" he quietly asked Pikachu.

Pikachu nodded in affirmation.

"_Then what makes her and I so different, I wonder..._"

A loud ring burst within the room. Panicked and surprised, Ash sat up with a jump and ran towards the phone. Picking up the voice receiver didn't stop the ringing. In its direct proximity, the volume of the ringing was intolerable. He worried if the neighbors could hear its aggravating trill.

_'Incoming Video Call. Would you like VidCam [ON]?'_ blinked repeatedly on the small monitor, the cause of the endless ringing.

He attempted to press _'Yes'_ on the touch screen, then _'Yes'_ on the arrow pointing to a button. In self-annoyance he realized that the button was the _'Yes'._ He pressed it immediately, repeatedly.

The monitor flashed and the face of a gorgeous young woman flared into view.

_"Did you see the battle?!"_ May squealed in excitement through the vidphone, _"That finishing move Dawn did was incredible! And, oh gosh, you two are going to be going at it at tomorrow's match! I'm so excited!"_

Ash pressed the _'Volume Down'_ button several times before he could tolerate May's shouting. He laughed as he rubbed his ears. "So you call me after her battle but you don't call after mine?"

May's beautifully expressive face pouted at the camera. She had aged well through the years, maturing in features faster than most, earning quiet jealousies amongst her and his peers. As a Coordinator, her looks earned her as much points and popularity as her pokémon's techniques. And it was her well-polished and well-bred looks that had made her the superstar she was today. No Contest Ring was left unaware of the stunning 'Queen of Hoenn'. No region's magazine stands had been spared from her face on a front cover or a headline over her fashion tips. And no gossip show cared to keep quiet about her assumed naughty lifestyles.

Despite the sunburn of spotlights threatening to burn her skin off, May had never let her popularity get to her head. Deep down, her behavior remained that of a child's. And outwardly, her mindset never progressed past the teen years she spent with Ash.

This unchanged honesty is what kept her as Ash's best human friend. The two were in no hurry to mature in their outlooks on life, and found each other as their best companions in growing 'kind of old together'. Their divergent goals, however, prevented them from travelling side by side like they used to. A weekly vidcall wasn't out of the question, though.

_"That's not fair. You know that your time slot was right before my work ended, right?" May whined in apology, "I'll go watch it later, okay? I had a friend record it for me. From what she said though, you did pretty amazing too. So I can't wait to see it. Really."_

"You still sound more excited about her battle than mine." Ash teased.

_"Oh come on. Seeing it is totally different from hearing about it. I'm sure if I saw yours I'd be - Wait a minute... Hold up."_ The brown-haired Coordinator moved away from the vidphone screen, lowering the volume of her laptop before re-appearing. _"Mm-hm. That's what I thought! I can't hear the TV on your end! You weren't even watching her battle!"_

"Well..."

_"Ash, really?"_

"I was studying my next opponents."

_"She is your next opponent, Ash. So don't give me that. And don't give me that excuse either. I know you don't study your opponents. Especially in tournaments like these."_

"I really was studying my next opponents, though. I already know how Dawn battles, so -"

_"Quit it already."_ May sighed and pounded her palm against the camera. _"I can't believe you're still doing this. That happened years ago, Ash. You can't keep holding it in like this forever. If you're never going to tell her, then just drop it. Forget about it completely. It's better off that way."_

"It's not that I never told her. I kind of already told her. I told you that I told her."

_"Yeah, years ago. And 'kind of' being underlined and highlighted! Look at it now. Things have changed since then. You don't think she's changed enough to listen to you now? Have you even seen her lately? She's a completely different person!"_

"I saw her..."

_"And?"_

"And nothing. I just saw her. Twice."

_"And you didn't even say 'hello'?"_

"You think I would?"

May leaned forward, allowing the camera to only view her stern blue eyes. _"Ash. Talk to her. I mean it. I know I said I was fine with you not ever talking to her again. But that was before I found out that you really can't get away from her. If you don't talk to her now, you'll just run into her again. Maybe in a week, maybe in a year, but it'll be just as hard to look at her then. And no matter what, I figure that you'll never get over her. So please, for your sake, for my sake, for everyone's sake, talk to her. Please. Don't make me beg."_

Ash stared at the monitor's glaring eyes in aggravated quiet. With a loud sigh, he looked towards the camera and shook his head. "I'll talk to her. But not in the way you want me to. Tomorrow."

_"If you're planning to talk to her through a Pokémon Battle, forget it, Ashley. Dawn's a Coordinator, like me. We don't talk with battles. We talk with outfits, stances, and moves. Not blows to the head."_

"It's the only way I can really tell her what I want to say. You know that I don't talk about these kind of things. I'm not even used to feeling it. I can't express it with words or outfits, or stances, or whatever. Even if I said it with a battle, I wouldn't be entirely comfortable with it, you know. I'm not that type of person. But it's the only way I can do it..."

Seconds passed in silence. Before a minute could be reached, May's eyes disappeared from the monitor - the screen having turned pitch black. The text _'VidCam [OFF]'_ hovered at the corner of the blackness. Without picture, May finally spoke, with an unusually serious voice, _"Tomorrow, I'm watching the battle. I'll make time for it. And after the battle, I'm going to call Dawn. I'll ask her if she understood what you tried to tell her in the battle. If she didn't, then I'll go ahead and tell her myself. And I won't put it nicely."_

"May, if you do that..."

_"Yeah, I know. I'm going to upset her. Terribly. I plan to. She's my friend, but you're my best. I'm willing to lose her if it means I can get that stupid burden off your heart."_

"May..."

_"Ashy. Tell her everything. Don't you dare hold back."_

_'VidCall [END]'_

* * *

**Winter Regionals, The 14th. [5 Years Pre-Present]**

A snowball flew by and shattered against a nearby post. Another was thrown, chipping itself against the rim of his baseball cap. The third smacked the side of his head hard. With only a tilt and a light stumble, the target slid lazily across the handrail - barely noticing that something had pushed him. He managed to find a new position to stand and relax in, sinking himself back into deep thought.

One more snowball rocketed through the sky. It was blocked expertly by a swung purse. "You kids leave him alone! Otherwise I'll tell your parents!" Serena stormed across the small bridge, chasing away the children who were responsible for the cold projectiles. Seeing them run off in the distance, she returned her attention on the victim of the childish attacks. "Ash! Are you okay?"

Ash only continued staring off into the distance.

"Ash?"

He flinched. "H-Huh? Oh... It's you, Serena."

"Are you okay, Ash? What were you doing just letting those kids -" Serena's words drifted as she looked over the bridge's handrail. Below, a body of frozen water curved a sparkling path of pristine blue, sprinkled with pure white snow and dirtier black and brown slosh. The sky above and the trees surrounding it reflected against its surface in a dream-like quality.

'Sky Rink' was what the locals of Snowbelle City had unofficially named it. An ever-frozen river popular with families and young couples in its use as an ice skating rink. One such couple skated at its center now. A man of medium length black hair, and a woman of long blue. They were Ash's friends, Serena recognized. On the day of the Reunion, the blue-haired woman had spent all her time following Ash around - which had annoyed her greatly. And on the day after the Reunion, the black-haired man had spent all his time crying around Ash - which she felt sorry for. Ever since the day after, the woman would concern herself over the man, speaking, comforting, consoling, and tending to him. In return, the man would open up more to her, and spend more time with her. Now the two were practically inseparable. Which she was completely fine with. "Ah, it's those two."

"Dawn and Tracey." Ash named them for her. His stares returned to them, distancing itself in thoughts once again. "Both of them used to travel with me, but not at the same time. The day Tracey came into our room was the day they first met face-to-face. Before that, they only knew each other by picture, or by short glances during my vidcalls to the Professor. Professor Oak, that is. The old Professor I introduced to you at the Reunion."

Serena nodded and smiled. "For a while I thought he was your grandpa."

"He sort of is to me."

"That's sweet. Oh, and speaking of the Reunion. Is it over yet?"

"It ended six days ago. Well, five days, I guess."

"Then..." Serena turned towards Ash. "Why haven't they left yet? For that matter, why haven't we?"

"People usually stick around for a week after the Reunion. If they didn't get the time to talk to each other during it, they spend it in hanging out after it, before heading back home."

She looked back over the frozen water, staring at the lines the skaters traced in the ice. "I can't imagine those two heading back home without each other. They're like lovebirds now."

"It happens a lot during the Reunions. Lots of people start their relationship there."

Serena's face lit a familiar pink. The memory of her boldly holding onto Ash at the party swirled inside her embarrassed, yet cheerful thoughts. The memory, however, soon disappeared when she remembered why she came out here. "You... like her, don't you?"

"Hm?"

"That Dawn girl down there. The kids were pegging you pretty badly with snowballs and you didn't even glare at them. You were so deep in thought, I thought you were asleep. She was the one you were thinking about, right?"

Ash shrugged, unsure whether to nod or shake his head. "She's definitely the one on my mind, but it's not that I like her in that way."

"Really?"

"Well... She's special to me, I guess. But that's not why I got my head stuck in the clouds."

"Then what's wrong?"

His chin pointed back at the skating couple. "Tracey, I guess."

"You don't like him being with her?"

"Yes? No? It's hard to explain..."

Serena forced a smile, though it hurt in her heart. "You can tell me. Even if you can't say it right, I can still hear you out."

Ash scratched his hair in nervousness. "It's just... You could say that Tracey and I have a long history together. Not just in our travels, but after that too. We'd call each other a lot. And every year he'd come to the Reunion. I wouldn't call him my best friend, but I know him well enough. I know he's a good guy at heart, and at one point, he was a good guy in everything else too..."

He turned away from the skating rink and stared into the sky above it. Visions of the past slowly rolled into his imagined view. Some made him smile. Though the ones he thought of now could only make him frown. "He's older than me. And when we travelled together, he was kind of the 'older guy' of the group, the kind a kid looks up to or expects to do the mature stuff. And he did. He was a lot more mature than us. That Professor I introduced you to? Tracey worked under him for years. And for years, he was more than happy to continue his life as his assistant. I wouldn't be able to stay cooped up in a lab all day, but for mature, older Tracey - he could stand it as long as he could do his work."

Ash reached down, opening his backpack and searching through its contents. A folder was pulled out from its hold, and a single sheet of paper was pulled out from inside it. It was a wonderfully-made sketch of Pikachu. One that he received as a gift. He showed it to Serena, who seemed impressed by it. "Tracey's a Sketch Artist. And he worked under Professor Oak as a Pokémon Illustrator, making detailed observations, with pictures rather than words. That job was his dream job. And he loved spending every day working in it."

"Sounds like he had it pretty good." Serena said, handing him back the paper.

"He did... Then one year, during a Reunion, he got introduced to another artist. Bianca. Not that blond one you met at the party. There was another one with the same name. She was a Sketch Artist just like Tracey. That was why they were introduced to each other in the first place. And they got along together really well because of it. A simple, perfect match. Unlike anyone else Tracey had met in the years of his work and travels, Bianca understood him and his passions almost entirely."

"Where is she now?"

"Married. And her husband doesn't like her spending time around me, so she's not allowed to visit the Reunions anymore."

"He sounds insecure."

Ash shrugged. "I wouldn't know. All I know is that after she got married, Tracey broke down completely. Every vidcall and talk we had after that, he'd end up breaking down again and crying. He couldn't get over her. And what made it worse was the fact that Bianca had rejected him just before the ceremony began. He was trying to stop her, and that's just how it ended up."

"Goodness... that's terrible. No wonder he's so broken up about it."

"That's not what he was crying over when he got in the room."

"Huh?"

"He was crying over his parents that time. And last year, he was crying about his ex-girlfriend. Before that, a vidcall, about how the Professor had fired him. And before that, another girl rejected him. His car being stolen, with all his valuables in it. His house being burned to the ground. His copyrights underhandedly taken from him. His cousin using him in a scheme. Someone suing him for an unstoppable accident. And the list goes on and on."

"... I don't know what to say. That all sounds awful." Serena's gaze moved towards the man below. His gleeful laughs and smiles made her heart glad, relieved. "He's been through a lot. Hasn't he? He looks so sensitive. For all those terrible things to fall on him. It just isn't fair. But... he's better now, at least."

"At least." Ash repeated her last words, though with a tone of discontent.

"Is that bad?" Serena asked, unsure if Ash's current jealousies held any worth now.

"The things Tracey's gone through are terrible. But they didn't fall on him. He's just as much the cause of them existing, but he doesn't want to face that fact." Ash sighed. "I'm not the only friend he would cry to. He had others. And they abandoned him. Which gave him more reasons to be upset. But they didn't do it for selfish reasons. They left him because they grew tired of never being able to help him. Tracey would go from one problem to the next, not learning from his last mistake, not owning up to his last promises, not willing to hold himself back. And he pays for it every time. But he doesn't learn from it either."

Pointing out each finger by count, he solemnly explained, "His house caught fire because he invited some strangers to live with him. The strangers were shady and unnerving, but he let them into his house all the same, just because they pretended to empathize with him. His car was stolen because he left his keys with a 'nice girl' he had met that day, trusting her for no reason beyond the desperation to make a friend. His parents kicked him out of their house because he would keep trying to bring strangers home. The Professor fired him for that same reason - after one of the 'guests' stole a prototype the Professor was working on. He's rejected over and over again because he won't take a hint from the women he thinks he's formed a relationship with. His trusting and naïve nature gets him used by his cousin, gets his copyrights stolen, gets him sued for an obviously rigged accident, and gets him in jail for something he indirectly caused.

"The guy's bad luck is beyond terrible. But it's not as if he can't avoid it. He can avoid it very easily. Ever since that day he met Bianca, however, he's become completely irrational. You might think that his innocent naïvety is blameless and might wish it wasn't burned out by 'the cold world out there'... But there's a reason why it is rejected, why he's rejected over and over again."

Ash stood in silence, watching the clouds hover quietly over him. The look on his face swirled between upset and annoyed. He let neither take over completely. "I've tried telling him to just stick with his job, to repair and improve himself first before rushing to find another relationship, to doubt people just a little - not to reject them, but to scold them for doing something inherently bad. I've been telling him as nicely as I could to stop making himself the victim, so he could stop running into these problems. But he doesn't do it. He doesn't want to stand back and just see for once that it's his honest fault. Not without getting overdramatic and threatening suicide, that is."

He shook his head in slight disgust. "He's trapped in his own world now. Seeing illusions of people and events, rather than experiencing them first-hand. That world he made with Bianca was the only thing to make him so undeniably happy in his life, that he couldn't make himself give it up. Any feelings I have in sadness over it, though, are gone. He's hurting others because of that fantasy. Assuming and pushing himself onto others, just to keep that fantasy alive, rather than face the workable reality in front of him. If he just let it go... he would see that there are other things out there that can make him just as happy, if not happier. But he's clinging onto it like a desperate child. And like a child, he won't listen. And because he won't listen, he doesn't learn. I like Tracey. He's a good friend. And a good guy, really. But I can't condone what he's doing now."

Ash shook his head again, this time at himself. He gave the girl beside him an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I went off into a little personal rant there. I must've soured your mood for this morning."

Serena responded with a troubled frown. "N-No. No need to apologize, Ash... I just... I didn't know any of this. It makes the scene down there very different."

Ash nodded. "Right now, Dawn's comforting Tracey. In the same way we all wished we could comfort him. But she's not really doing anything for him. It's his fantasy that makes him happy right now. Dawn's just his replacement for the Bianca in that world."

"_That's awful..._ Shouldn't you tell her that?"

"I will. But I can't right now. If I did and she listened, she would just abandon him immediately. And then what? Tracey would just break down again, and cling onto someone else. For now, I can only leave them alone until the right opportunity comes up."

"When do you think that will come up?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "If it doesn't come up anytime soon... I'll tell her tomorrow."


	4. Without Words

**Autumn Regionals, The 42nd. [4 Years Pre-Present]**

"Ash, just stop." were her last words to him.

Nearly a year before, under a quiet, snow-covered bridge, these were the very same last words she had given to him. Though at that time, she had told it to him with tears in her eyes. Now, within the warm and welcoming glow of a luxurious restaurant, she had said it with a dry, vicious glare.

She turned and left, flowing back into cheerful airs of the reunion party, ignoring the man behind her completely.

Ash stood still in the darkened corner, abandoned with his failed attempt to tell her once more. Since the end of last year's Roads Travelled Reunion, Ash had tried repeatedly to warn Dawn about Tracey's self-destructive behavior. Tried, and failed miserably.

Dawn would not hear of it. Her nature to nurture, her mindset of nothing being an impossibility, and the honest ideals she held in people and their efforts prevented her from agreeing with his negative impression of the Sketch Artist. To her, Ash was just 'another one of the others' - the 'others' that would carelessly bully Tracey and step on his dreams for their own selfish reasonings. The excuses Ash made in his defense were almost convincing enough, if it were not for the fact that Ash himself had never gone through what Tracey had to.

Admittedly, Dawn was just as guilty of that inexperience, but Dawn was a witness to many loved ones who suffered under the same roads that Tracey travelled. Even when compared to them, Tracey had suffered far worse in life. And she despised that people would dismiss his troubles entirely for their own convenient excuses.

She despised Ash now, though she never openly showed it around others. The boy from Pallet Town was near and dear to her heart, but his immature sense of the world made him blind to those he should have obviously empathized with. She had tried to convince him, tried to negotiate with him, but nothing bore fruit in her efforts. All she could do was prevent herself from yelling at his ignorance and build up her patience.

Tracey was not 'living an illusion', as Ash described it. Tracey, in her intimate understanding of him, was hiding behind one, to help him better cope with the life he didn't deserve. In time, she was sure she could get him to come out from his hideaway and live a new life free from such troubles. And in the year's time she spent with him, she had accomplished that goal to a great degree. Within her company, Tracey was a happy, youthful man, filled with fascinating inspirations and endless talent. He had a lot to offer the world. And she was glad to assist in his offerings.

She loved him. Greatly. A relationship that had started in an awkward meeting nearly a year before, with him stumbling into a room, weeping... had grown into a shared life of satisfying laughs and smiles. She was happy with him, and he was happy with her. There was nothing more and nothing less to be said in the wonderful relationship that they held. The look of disagreements the others gave them, the murmured gossip the others held behind their back, she never gave a care to. Their life was as perfect as it should have been, and no one could take that away from them. _Not even Ash._

Dawn flinched. The smile she was giving to an old friend in the Reunion nearly broke. She had been listening intently to the new strategies May came up with as a Coordinator, when the subconscious thought of Ash drifting further away from her struck at her heart. The last thing she wanted was for them to never speak to each other again. But the last thing she could stand were his biting words. She wanted to ignore that idiotic bitterness, to go back and apologize, to change the subject, and simply get them back to being close friends.

Before she could break, Tracey walked up next to her and nudged her childishly with his shoulder. She bounced a step away. The action made her smile. She nudged back. It was a simple action, with simple meanings, but it had been enough to reaffirm her decision. Her prior sympathies vanished. For Tracey, she would not apologize to Ash. Ash, in time, would come to see the real worth of their relationship. He would see that he was simply being stubborn over trivial concerns. And maybe one day he would apologize to her. Until that time came, she would rather spend every day with Tracey happily and merrily, without disruption, and without worry.

Ash gazed on as Dawn's figure disappeared into the colorful crowds with Tracey. A strange feeling inside his chest churned. He couldn't fathom what that feeling was, but it made him yearn to cry. He rubbed his eyes quickly, denying himself the unwarranted tears.

There was no reason to cry. Ash knew he wouldn't have been able to convince Dawn. Not with words, at least. He was terrible with words, while Dawn was a master with her words. She was able to touch on intimate meanings with intuitively simple phrases. He could only bumble with his words, losing their intentions quickly whenever it came to serious conversations. It was practically impossible for him to win in an argument against her. And in that knowledge, there was no reason to be upset over an expected outcome.

He could only try again some other day.

"_I'm sorry..._" Serena whispered. She slid out from behind a thick curtain, near to where Dawn and Ash had stood just moments before. Her appearance revealed that she had been eavesdropping since the beginning of their private conversation. And the guilt in her eyes only showed her regret in what she had overheard.

Ash paid her intrusion no mind. He had known that she would pop out sometime, somewhere. Serena was always close by him these days. He shook his head without annoyance or judgment. "What are you sorry for? It's my fault that I'm this bad with words."

Serena stopped her fingers from reaching him. She gripped them firmly around the trailing edges of the curtain, distracting her from the yearnings in her heart. "_Ash... She's very dear to you, isn't she?_" Though nothing could hide those yearnings from her quaking voice.

"She's my friend." Ash answered simply and without further thought, holding no assumptions over her tone or intentions, "A friend that travelled with me for so long that I still think she's there when I wake up."

Her grip squeezed tighter around the curtain, threatening to pull it from its railing. "_No... that's not it._" her voice shook with every syllable, "_You don't have to lie, Ash. She's more than just that to you. Your fake smile really does give it away. It's the same fake smile she has on right now. You mean as much to her... But she can't bring herself to say it either._"

"Maybe she's like me and can't really put these things into words." He laughed poorly. "I'm better at battling than any of that stuff, sadly."

"_You can always try talking to her with a battle, you know... Settling things with your pokémon's moves and attacks rather than with these stupid, clumsy words._" her suggestion followed with a shake of her own head, disappointed in herself.

"I don't think she'd understand me if I spoke that way. She's a Coordinator. And I'm a Trainer. We think about these things differently, I think."

"_It never hurts to try..._"

"I suppose not." He sighed, finding her words convincing enough - though ignorant of its hidden meanings. After a long pause, Ash nodded himself, and took a step forward. With a deep breath, he broke out into a run. From the corner of the restaurant he had held his private conversations in, into the bustling centers where the majority of the guests walked, chatted, sat, ate, and danced, Ash sped down a closing walkway that he knew would lead him straight to his target. Pushing aside and excusing himself through the flood of familiar faces, Ash quickly scanned through the stream of bright colors for a combination that only perfectly fit one person - long, shining blue hair and sparkling blue eyes, features that belonged to and were held wonderfully by the Coordinator "Dawn!" he shouted.

The Coordinator froze.

Tracey, beside her, turned and gave the caller a curious stare. Those nearby did the same. But the one called did not dare to move.

"Dawn!" Ash shouted again, catching his breath. "I challenge you to a Pokémon Battle!"

"Uhm, Ash? This place doesn't allow pokémon in the premises." Tracey mentioned with a strange laugh.

"Yeah, Ash. What's with you always choosing places that don't allow pokémon?" Duplica whined at the side.

"I - I don't do it on purpose!" Ash awkwardly defended, thrown off of his determined emotions, "They're just the only places with enough seats for all of us. A-Anyways, we don't actually have to battle right here, right now. We can go outside and -"

"Ash, enough!"

Her shout was far louder than his. And its volume had silenced the entire convention.

People turned and shuffled around each other, attempting to see what trouble was occurring. Chairs and tables were quietly moved, stairs were climbed, and toes were tipped. Everyone had wanted a better vantage point for the drama that was unfolding.

At an odd section of the massive restaurant, an 'ex-girlfriend' of Ash's stood, turned away from him. And behind her, several steps away, Ash stood alone in an open gap, awkwardly, yet fittingly, holding a poké ball.

Without paying any of them mind or thought, Dawn spoke, "That's enough, Ash. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of you bringing it up at every chance you get. Just admit to yourself that you're being stubborn and immature about this. Or at least have the decency to stay quiet long enough to see which of us really is right about this. There's no need for you to constantly meddle yourself into things that you have no right to bother. That you have no reason to bother. We're happy together. Isn't that enough? Isn't that what matters most? If troubles come, they come. And we'll be there to fix it. If we fail, then so be it. But you can't keep preventing us from simply trying. You can't keep saying that you know how this ends just because no one's ever had the chance to see it through. Just be happy for me, or be tolerant of me as I see it to the end. Stay as my friend. Stop trying to make it so that we're enemies. Don't make such a big deal over it that we might have to part ways over it. Please. I beg you."

Tracey reached out to her in concern, only to be stopped by her side step. Dawn wanted to solve this herself, and he knew it was best to leave her to it. Whatever 'it' was.

"I... I'm just challenging you to a battle." Ash said with a tried friendly tone. Inside, the feeling in his chest was burning, and it made his stomach feel utterly sick. "Just one battle is all we need to have. A one-on-one. No time limi-"

Ash's words stopped with Dawn's slap. She glared furiously at him, tears rolling down her cheeks. Her chest ached and legs felt weak, but she held her adamant posture of authority. For her own sake. For his sake. "Stop it! Tracey is not in denial!" she screamed.

The screamed words brought everything to a halt. Whispers and murmurs disappeared. Curious stares were turned away. Only the sound of crying could be heard.

Tracey had ran out of the restaurant, sobbing.

"Look what you've done!" Dawn spat furiously. She pounded her fist repeatedly into Ash's chest before turning around and running after Tracey. "I don't want to battle you! I don't want to talk to you! I don't ever want to see you again!" she yelled as she stormed out the door.

Ash stayed where he was, holding the same posture and stance he stood in when he had first challenged the Coordinator - his face still turned from the unexpected slap. "_No... time limit. No... substitutions._" he finished his verbal challenge in a weak whisper. The poké ball in his hand fell to the marbled floor below. Its clacking bounce echoed loudly throughout the room.

* * *

**Spring Regionals, The 14th. [Present Year]**

_"Golden Silver Cup Semi-Final Match. Ash of Pallet Town, Kanto, versus Dawn of Twinleaf Town, Sinnoh. Trainers, you will be given five minutes to prepare before the match begins."_

The loudspeaker's voice hardly held the same flare and energy that it had spoken with the day before. It was assumed that the announcer's favoritism over Ash and Dawn had been severely discouraged by his employers - forcing him to return to an unnaturally professional distance for the remainder of the matches.

Despite this tone-down, the audience still roared with impossible excitement.

A herald of voices chanted Ash's name repeatedly with undying vigor. A chorus of voices sang out Dawn's name in harmony with unyielding adoration. The match between the 'Legendary' Trainer and the celebrated Coordinator had been looked forward to by competitors, audiences, and fans alike with impatient eagerness since the beginning of the tournament.

Though the battle yesterday was considered by many as a coincidence 'made by Fate', today's battle was seen as a beautiful moment in Destiny - a Fate shaped by the two who faced each other in the arena. Everyone in the audience had come to know of the two's history as partners - its stories passed along the crowds from the few that personally witnessed the events themselves. And the influence of such stories and rumors only served to bring their expected exhilarations to a fever-pitch.

Below the thundering cheers, however, the atmosphere felt between the two contestants was entirely different, almost bitterly opposite.

Ash crouched over his backpack and sorted through the poké balls he brought with him. Silently judging which would be best for the battle to come, he kept his attentions towards the floor, never raising it to acknowledge his foe.

His 'foe' stood several paces away. Her pokémon already chosen and readied, she was left with time to watch over Ash, with painful desires. She wanted him to look up. To look her in the eyes. To say something. Anything. Instead, he had remained quiet, unwilling, uncaring. The emotional and mental distance he kept between them thrashed at her chest. There were so many things she wanted to tell him at this moment. So many things she wanted to hear from him. And it was because of those many things that she had worked hard to be able to enter this tournament.

Four years ago, Ash had challenged Dawn to a battle in order to tell her something he couldn't correctly put into words, something she couldn't quite understand back then. She had refused then. Out of fear, out of insecurity, out of pride, and out of care, she had refused to listen to his unspoken words. The battle never occurred. But today, four years after his challenge, she was ready to listen. She had spent the last year preparing her heart to listen. In the battle to come, she would leave herself open to everything he ever had to say. And in their battle, she would respond.

But before all that, she dearly wished for him to look up at her.

Granting her wish, Ash looked up. His eyes were tired, and that was all. No other emotions showed in his once expressive eyes. He refused them from showing, knowing that they would be misinterpreted by Dawn's piercing gaze. In his failed words and actions, he had come to realize that he was terrible at communicating with others. If anything were to speak for him now, it would be the battle ahead. But before that matter could be settled, he wanted to see Dawn once more. For who she was, at face value.

The Coordinator had changed with age. He once knew her as a young girl that dressed herself up, and took extra time in caring for herself, in order to become what she had always wanted to be. Over time, she became a young woman who cared less of trying to become someone, and focused more on being who she already was - though even then, she still dressed to impress. Years later, he would come to know her as a woman of astounding beauty. No longer seeking to become a kind, mature, and respected woman - she had become one entirely on her own. And her outer appearance had showed it perfectly. There was no longer a need to dress to impress, as her impression had become permanent in anyone who laid eyes on her.

The cover of the book had finally matched its contents.

No similar conclusions could be held now, however. Presently, the woman in front of him was significant in her unimpressiveness and very strange to look at.

The design cap on her head, the patterned shirt and pants she wore, the colors and combination they were in - unnervingly matched the outfit he had worn in their adventures together. Her hair was messied and dulled, her posture was unsured, and her worrying eyes lacked the bright confidence that she once owned. Who this person was, Ash wasn't entirely sure. By face value, it was Dawn. But who Dawn had become during their time away from one another, he was a stranger to.

May had told him that Coordinators spoke their intentions through their clothes. And it was clear that Dawn was trying to communicate something important to him now. But he was no Coordinator, and its meaning was lost to him entirely. He wondered if their battle would produce the same results... Dawn was no Trainer. Would she be able to understand his words through his pokémon's attacks?

There was only one way to be sure.

_"From a raffle, the battle's rules and restrictions have been chosen. This match will be a Single Pokémon Match, with no Time Limit, and no Substitutions. When a Trainer's pokémon is judged no longer fit to battle, the match point and victory will go to their opponent. ... Trainers, your preparation period is over. Select a single pokémon and call it onto the field. ... Golden Silver Cup, Semi-Final Match. Ash versus Dawn. Begin."_

"Pikachu!"

"Empoleon!"

"I choose you!" the two shouted in unison.

* * *

"I don't get it! He had every advantage over me! He dodged every attack! He tricked me several times into thinking I stood a chance! But he was just toying around with me! Making sure I couldn't ever get a grip during the battle! But he didn't even try to dodge that last attack... He didn't even bother to. He saw it coming before it even happened, but he didn't do anything at all... Why! I don't get it! I tried to understand him! I tried really hard! But I just don't get it! I couldn't read anything he was trying to tell me!" Dawn sobbed loudly, pressing her forehead firmly against the video phone's camera. "I don't understand any of it at all, May... What was he trying to tell me? I can't understand him. I just can't. No matter how hard I try. What in the world was he trying to tell me all these years? You talk to him all the time. More than anyone else. You know what it is, don't you?"

_"Of course I do."_

Dawn quickly pulled herself away from the camera and stared half-furiously at the monitor. May's concerned, yet too-knowing, face frowned back at her. "Th-Then tell me what it is! He won't tell me! He won't talk to me! Even after the battle, he refused to look at me! I don't get it! I can't take standing in the dark anymore, May! Tell me, please!"

_"Why else would I have called you?"_ May sighed and adjusted herself on the couch. Pouring herself a glass of soda, the Coordinator took a sip and closed her eyes. With a deep, nervous breath, she began what she he had practiced in the mirror for hours the night before, _"The thing is, Dawn, Ash -"_


	5. Something About Us

**Spring Regionals, The 15th. [Present Year]**

Ash watched the last traces of the Johto region transform into a vast ocean below. It would be his first time in a year that he would leave its soil for another region. There was nothing left in its boundaries to challenge or seek. His only goal within it had been finished at his loss in the Golden Silver Cup Semi-Finals. The chance to enter the region's Championships once again escaped his grasp. Though the attempt to do so was his only goal.

True Victory, once again, eluded Ash. Whatever clear win he could have made in the tournament was swiftly thrown out the window when he chose not to warn Pikachu of the incoming 'Hydro Blizzard'. It would have been easy attack to dodge and counter, even while Pikachu was turned around - but the verbal command to react to it was never made. Ash didn't want Pikachu to avoid it. Just like the silent words he spoke in his battle, he never wanted to find victory in its outcome.

He had heard Dawn had forfeited her placement before the Final Match could be officially announced. From what May had told him, Dawn only entered the tournament in the first place so she could 'listen to what he had to say four years ago'. And from what May had also told him, Dawn failed to understand what he was trying to say through their battle.

_I guess we really can't speak to each other that way,_ he sadly accepted the thought. Dawn, however, would refuse to accept that fact of life. The blue-haired Coordinator supposedly dropped her Coordinator status shortly after her forfeit, and re-registered as a Trainer in the Battle League. What else she wanted to tell him, or hear from him, through battle alone, he wasn't sure. May had already told her everything he had ever wanted to say but couldn't. And true to her promise: May did not make her choice of words tolerable.

May and Dawn are no longer on speaking terms. It was a decision made by the both of them in quiet, done more out of respect than for spite.

Ash could only imagine how Dawn took the relayed message. He could only imagine how anyone would have taken it. Ash, after all, was never the type to say or feel 'those sorts of things'. But what was said had to be said, because it had become impossible for him to continue the feeling in denial.

The feeling inside his chest had subsided considerably. After he said everything he wanted to say in the battle, the feeling vanished almost entirely, as if it had barely ever existed at all. That idea made him smile. He was glad to not hold onto its burden anymore. If he were to run into Dawn again, he was sure the feeling would come back. But by then, he hoped she would be able to answer it in full.

Not once could Ash bring himself to verbally admit his innermost emotions. He couldn't tell Dawn how much he cared for her, how disappointed he was in her for expectedly caring after Tracey, how hurt he had felt when she refused to listen to him the first time, how distraught he was the day after she had struck him publicly in the restaurant, how depressed he was when his predictions came true the day Tracey left Dawn for another woman, how much pain he endured simply by looking at her once again before the battle could begin, how he had been thinking of her every other day, how he still silently wondered where she was when he woke in the mornings, and how he felt when he realized what that 'something' was about her.

There was always 'something' about the girl named Dawn. How she dressed, how she acted, how she thought, and how she ultimately was who she was. It made her unforgettable, and it made her the center of everyone's attention. That 'something' reflected similarly in himself. After years of introspection and quiet acceptance, Ash had come to realize that Dawn's 'something' was near identical to his 'something'. Identical in every way, yet different in every other way. The paths they took and the choices they made in life seemed to be the only things that separated them from being perfect twins in spirit.

And it was their separating decisions that made him feel the way he had always felt.

As much as he never wanted to admit it... Ash hated Dawn.

He hated her for everything she became over the years, because he could only see himself taking the same, foolish routes that she had. He hated how she treated him, as if he knew no better, when she knew none more. He hated how she talked and the way she acted, holding an air of victory over herself, when she still didn't know what that victory meant. He hated how no one else seemed to notice their similarities, because it made him feel incapable of acting against those thoughts. In his eyes, she was a reflection moving on its own - with every mistake and flaw perceivable - but she was impossible to communicate with, impossible to stop, stubborn as she was, stubborn as he was. He hated knowing that she was somewhere else, making mistakes he would never make, while he made mistakes somewhere else she would never ever make. And he hated knowing when she was beside him, doing exactly what he would have done, if she were the one watching instead. Everything about the two of them, and their unwillingness to solve it together, he hated.

What they would solve, how they would solve it, and what would come from its solution, he didn't know - and he was sure he didn't want to know. He let Pikachu be struck by Dawn's most powerful attack, because he didn't want to see a conclusion from his victory. In the end, he never wanted to prove himself right in hating her. He didn't want to hate her. He never wanted to hate her.

Ash always wanted something else for the two of them. A different emotion. A different thought. A different meaning. And a different victory.

But he could never find it on his own.

He hoped one day Dawn would find it with him, on the field of battle, with a victory the both of them could claim as their own.


End file.
